Thursday, January 22, 2004


Interesting word, misfit is. All my life I've tried to be "Miss Fit" into the mold everyone expects of me. I've pushed and proded, twisted and turned trying to fit but it never felt right. Inside, I always knew I could not own whatever role I was applying for at the time. I've always disliked conformity and yet depending on who you ask, I've been quite the conformist.

My family qualifies as right-wing conservative--in essence-- uber-republican.

I have friends and loved-ones who are about as liberal as they come.

On one issue I'll be very conservative, and yet on another one I'll be shockingly liberal.

I don't fit on the left.

I don't fit on the right.

I don't want to fit in the middle and yet that's where I usually end up. I hate the apathetic side of me that says there's not real need to figure it out, just go with the flow. Yet, that's what I often do. I am constantly torn and so more often than not, I do nothing.

I've been at war with myself for a long time now and I'm quite battle weary.


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