Sunday, October 20, 2002

Losing the Past

Hubby and I spent last evening at a 192nd General Hospital Army reuniion from WWII. His Grandfather was the 'host" this year. We arrived around 6:30 for a small banquet to honor the men and their wives, most of whom were army nurses.They were stationed in England and last night's entertainment was stories and songs from the old days. Hubby said there were at least a third less people there this time from one of their former reunions just a few years ago. It's really sad to think of how the "history" of our nation is dying out with each passing day. I hope we never forget or take for granted what these men fought for. I'ts amazing how trauma can bond people. I wonder if that "shared trauma" isn't part of what was the "glue" of a lot of those marriages all of which have lasted over 40 to 50 years. Have you ever shared that type of experience with someone? Did it bond you to that person?

Most of Hubbby's family (maternal) was there. We saw his cousin and his new fiance; he's 27 and she's 39 but she looks younger. I wish them the best and a lifetime of happiness but I worry there may be a bumpy road ahead. It was really good to see his family; I have grown to love them all as if they were my own. Family-time is very important to me and I don't get to see mine very often being that they live 1000 miles away. All of Hubby's famliy can be here within 2 hours so I consider that close. I miss the camradarie that comes with shared experiences but after a year plus of marriage I feel I am beginning to fit in more.

Well, it's Sunday and just one day away from the BIG day. I suppose it's really not that big a deal.... just 24 hours (well, less at this point) but I am still apprehensive. I DON'T WANT TO GET ANY OLDER!!!! Can't we just choose what age to stop aging? I would just stop at say somewhere between 35 and 40 and that would be the end of it then turning 31 wouldn't be a big deal. I suppose the birthday anxiety is a little less than it was just a few weeks ago... I guess it's just that I've accepted the fact that I have to get older. UGH!


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