Thursday, March 06, 2003


I am feeling very blah today. As a matter of fact, I have been up and down and all around since we got back from Arkansas. Some days I simply cannot stop smiling. Other days I cannot find my smile at all. Some days I am motivated to take on and change the world. Other days, like today, I can barely find the energy to get out of bed. I don’t know why.

Perhaps it is because we haven't had sunny days in quite some time. Normally I love the rain and gray cloudy days but right now I could use a shot or two of sunshine. Perhaps it is because my hormones are running around staging a coup within my body and holding my internal level for a huge ransom of chocolate, which will in turn upset my already out of kilter waist-to-hip ratio. Perhaps it is because Hubby's grandfather is seriously ill and in the hospital. Hubby is spending a lot of time in the room and not getting enough sleep. I am truly worried for both of them.

Perhaps it is because I simply cannot make up my mind about what I want in life. I rather feel like I am standing at an intersection; I have four directions from which to choose. Which way will lead me to my ultimate destination? Which is the path of least resistance? Which is the road less traveled? Which direction is my true north? I feel like I am being pulled but at the moment but I am rather blinded and thus cannot tell which one is right for me.


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