Epiphanies

I had one this weekend. I had one that hurt more than I can remember hurting in recent, well, probably years. I have become the very thing I despise the most. I see it's poison seeping into my personality, my actions, my words, my thoughts, and my even my outlook.
I have no idea how to reverse this process and I can honestly say I hate myself for even allowing it to happen. God, help me.

Now, if that isn't enough fodder to send one into a tailspin of depression I don't know what will.